Pumping (warning: includes some whining)

Since micro preemies are so small and immature, they are unable to take in any milk for quite a while after they are born. I think with most babies, they start out with very very small amounts of milk after the first couple of weeks. Because of Nate's belly problems, he didn't start taking in milk for many weeks. They also NEVER use formula on babies that small so they are very serious about moms trying everything they can to pump milk. If the mother is unable to pump, they use donor milk until either the mother has a supply of her own, or the baby is old enough to start formula.

No one thought that I was going to be able to establish a good milk supply since I was so sick and after the babies were born. They had us sign the consent to use donor milk and then told us to do the best we could to pump. Thanks to Todd, who helped me when I was basically unconscious for the first couple of days, I ended up getting enough milk to start a little stash for when Nate was ready.

Once I started feeling better, I became obsessed with pumping. I felt like my body had failed in keeping the babies safe while they were inside so I wanted to do everything I could to keep Nate safe on the outside. Plus, for the first couple of months, it feels like it is the only thing you can do for your baby. You aren't allowed to touch them or hold them so pumping is the one thing that makes you feel like a real mom.

As Nate got older and healthier, I really wanted to be able to nurse him. He did great while we were in the hospital but I was never allowed to exclusively nurse since they were keeping such a careful eye on how much he was drinking all of the time. I thought that after his last surgery in the NICU he'd do great but after a week of not eating anything and a week of bottles to slowly work him up to a full feeding, he just wouldn't nurse anymore. So when we brought Nate home from the hospital, we also brought the pump.

Fast forward 7 months and I am still pumping. My goal was to give Nate milk through at least his first RSV season so he would be a healthy as possible and able to fight off anything that came his way. So far it has totally paid off since Nate hasn't been sick once this winter (even after I had a couple of nasty colds).

This is where the serious whining starts so stop reading now if you don't want to hear it :)

I had no idea how much I would hate pumping by the end of this first year! It has been a huge blessing for Nate, which I am very grateful for, but pumping is HARD. Here are the top 3 reasons why I hate it (but there are many more than this list)

1. It's like nursing and bottle feeding. I spend a half hour pumping, 15 minutes feeding Nate the milk, and then another 10 minutes washing pump supplies and bottles. 
2. It is difficult to keep up a good milk supply while pumping so even though Nate is now only eating 4 times a day, I still pump 6 or 7 times a day, including one time in the middle of the night.
3. As Nate is getting older and not content just sitting in one spot, I am having to sit him in front of the tv while I pump, which is something that I never wanted to do. 

The hardest thing has been the time commitment. Being stuck on the couch for hours each day leaves a lot less time to do other things that need done. After complaining to Todd the other night, we decided to do some calculations. Here is where we were shocked!

Over the past year, we figured I had averaged about 7 pumping sessions per day. So over the course of the year, I have pumped 2555 times! Each session is 20-30 minutes so that comes out to be about 1200 hours or 53 days!! Can you believe that!?! 53 days of sitting on the couch pumping! I must be totally insane or I must really really LOVE Nate!